Are you secure with yourself? Unfortunately, many people mistake self-security as being snobby, attractive, and never alone. Or the loudest person who boasts about themselves and insults others.
However, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
You might be shocked to discover that many popular, good-looking people are insecure. Also, those who brag are often compensating for how disappointed they are in themselves.
So, of course, you don’t want to be like that! You want unwavering security, being calm, unworried, and unaffected by any outside source.
When you’re secure, you believe in yourself, and what others think doesn’t matter as much. This attitude draws others to you and attracts opportunities that you never thought were possible. Gaining this powerful mindset will change your life, and anyone can develop it!
So, without further ado, the following are things that secure people don’t do:
1. Secure people don’t compare themselves to others
“A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.”
— Robert A. Heinlein
When you’re secure, you accept what you can’t change about yourself, and you improve the rest. Also, you don’t compare yourself to others because you know we’re all infinitely different. Everyone is on a distinct journey through life; therefore, no one even has the same desired finish line.
So, never compare yourself to anyone other than your past self.
Furthermore, you won’t feel jealous of others because you’re happy with who you are. In fact, you’ll enjoy seeing others succeed, and it builds your confidence when you compliment them.
The key is not to feel envious of what they have; instead, use what you admire to create goals for yourself.
Stop if you catch yourself subconsciously comparing yourself to others. You weren’t born to be the same as everyone else! You’re custom-made with unique qualities. Don’t stomp on these precious traits by desiring someone else’s!
Why would you want to be a standard edition when you’re a one-of-a-kind?
2. Secure people don’t need constant attention; in fact, they enjoy solitude
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Secure people don’t need to be surrounded by people 24/7. So, they don’t seek validation outside of themselves because they know it comes from within. For this reason, it’s critical to spend time in solitude, and they cherish being alone because they like who they are.
For instance, when you start a relationship with someone, you need time alone to get to know them on a deep level. That’s also what you need to do to strengthen the one relationship you’ll be in for your entire life with yourself.
At first, it might feel uncomfortable, and you’ll reach for your cell phone or turn on the TV. But would you do this if you were on a date and wanted to get to know that person?
You are your only constant lifelong companion. Don’t make life harder by mistreating or ignoring yourself. Also, remember, it takes time to create a bond with anyone.
That’ll never happen if you neglect yourself and avoid being alone. When you’re self-assured, you won’t be desperate for a distraction from your thoughts.
Instead, you’ll embrace and savor the wonderful things you imagine. Over time you’ll build an undying love for who you are, imperfections and all.
3. They don’t procrastinate or make excuses
“If you’re waiting until you feel talented enough to make it, you’ll never make it.”
A secure person is courageous. So, they don’t wait for permission to start working on their goals. They won’t procrastinate by doing something simple instead.
At the root of procrastination is a deep-seated fear. It could be of failing, success, hard work, or not being smart enough. The truth is that no one knows if they’re good enough to do what they want. However, a determined person won’t let the unknown hold them back from their goals.
Self-assured people realize that even if they fail, they’ll still survive. Moreover, they’d be able to gather their bearings and try again.
If I let fear hold me back, I certainly wouldn’t be here (in Colorado) living my dream life right now. I’ll admit, the adventure I had to endure was terrifying (life and death style) at times. But I was willing to risk it rather than living in an overpopulated city that was making me miserable.
All I’m saying is, if your soul is telling you to do something, you better listen. It probably knows what it’s talking about, but do your research and plan it out first.
Also, realize that your journey will change over time. Allow it to transform for your benefit like I did. Otherwise, I’d be living in the mountains with bears and cougars outside.
Not to mention hauling water and not getting to a grocery store because of snow. No thanks!
4. Secure people accept that they’re imperfect, so they aren’t defensive
“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”
— Peter T. Mcintyre
Secure people don’t deny that they make mistakes or have flaws. They know everyone messes up from time to time, so why should they feel ashamed for it? For this reason, they won’t make up excuses for their slipups; instead, they boldly admit them.
It’s also respectable and brave to fess up to making a mistake.
Whereas it’s a shame to see a leader make excuses or blame others for their blunders.
On the other hand, an influential leader will accept, admit, and learn from their mistakes. Moreover, they’ll solve the problems they caused.
So, don’t make excuses or deny that you aren’t perfect; people are captivated by those who aren’t afraid to admit their flaws.
5. They don’t need to agree with everything others believe
“We’re going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us.”
― Beth Moore
A secure person won’t believe everything they hear, especially if it seems suspicious. Unfortunately, some people will believe anything just because their friends do.
But, everyone has a right to their own opinion.
So, a self-confident person will research and discover what they believe. They’ll ask questions like, “What proves this is true?” or “When did that happen?” They’ll research several resources and find the truth.
Besides, what’s the point in having a spectacular, unique mind if you only use it to think like everyone else?
6. Secure people don’t back down from taking a stand
“The opposite of security is insecurity, and the only way to overcome insecurity is to take risks.”
— Theodore Forstmann
A secure person won’t watch something terrible happen to someone and not put an end to it. They’ll step up and take a stand, regardless of what everyone else does. I’m not saying secure people get into random fights; instead, they look out for their fellow humans or even animals.
For instance, if someone is getting bullied at work or school, the confident person will be assertive and speak up about it. They’ll let the bully know it’s not cool and to stop.
Even though I’m only 5’7″ and 120 lbs, I’ll still confront anyone who’s mistreating others. I can’t help it; I’m an empath. When others hurt, I feel it too. If I get into a fight, then so be it. At least I didn’t allow someone to get hurt emotionally (or physically) when I could have done something to stop it.
Secure people will look out for others and stand up for what’s right without hesitation.
7. Secure people don’t need to brag
“He, who is humble, is confident and wise. He who brags is insecure and lacking.”
— Lisa Edmondson
A secure person doesn’t need to shout their accomplishments from the rooftops to feel worthy. They already know that they’re an amazing person, and it’s not their job to make the world agree. The only person who must approve of them is themself. They’ve already accepted themselves, and as a bonus, it’ll shine through to others.
Although, never mentioning any of your achievements is a sign of insecurity. If it applies to the conversation, feel free to share your experiences. But, don’t take over the conversation to focus only on yourself.
Altogether, once you’re secure with yourself, your life will be so much easier. The worries and drama you used to deal with every day will vanish. You’ll finally be brave enough to take your creative ideas and bring them to fruition. Plus, your new easy-going nature might attract that special someone!
Above all, you’ll free yourself from a detrimental mindset and be comfortable and secure in your skin.
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