Some people get so obsessed with achieving something that they self-destruct. But if you detach from the need to achieve certain outcomes and instead start focusing on the process, you increase your chances. You no longer worry about the results, and that helps improve them.
What’s even better about not worrying about the outcome is you’re okay if it doesn’t happen. That way, you’re ready to try again.
Detachment from needing things to happen in a certain way is incredibly freeing. It cures issues like anxiety, stress, procrastination, perfectionism, and obsessions.
It’ll also make you a more confident, independent person!
However, not caring about the result doesn’t mean that you stop striving for your goals; it means you stop worrying about them. You’re more focused on the steps you take to get there.
The outcome of anything doesn’t make you a better or worse person. You were born precious and rare, with gifts no one else can give the world. Worrying about your results will only hold you back from your potential.
Now, here’s how you detach from your outcome:
1. Trust the process and detach from the result
Detachment allows you to stop worrying and trust the process. You do what you’re supposed to do and leave your concerns at the door.
You know, repeating these actions has brought success to people in the past. So, if you stick with it, it’ll work for you. Worrying about your abilities is only holding you back from what you want. You’re doing what you need to to get you where you want. Have patience and trust the process.
2. Detach from who you “should” be and be yourself
When you don’t care about what you or other people think, you free yourself to feel true happiness. So, stop worrying about your every move, just be your own miraculous self.
Allow yourself to just be with no resistance. You don’t hesitate, and you level up beyond what you thought was possible. The floodgates swing wide, and you surf through with ease.
While desperation can spur change, it can also make you overthink everything. Then, you ignore your genius intuition.
Your performance suffers because you’re only partially focused. The other part of your mind is whispering, “You better make this work.” Then you’re a bundle of anxiety and fear.
Therefore, don’t think about how you should be and just let it flow.
3. Detach from your thoughts
People tend to believe their thoughts and identify with them. If they think they’re lazy and fat, they become lazy and fat. Or if they feel they couldn’t achieve something, guaranteed they won’t.
But, the more you attach to the things you think, the more you’ll suffer for it. People think about 6,200 thoughts per day. However, the ones you believe are meaningful will show up every day. They’ll embed themselves into your psyche and identity.
Try meditation because one of the key benefits is to learn how to observe your thoughts and not grab ahold of them. This gives you power over these random entities. Otherwise, your discouraging thoughts can take over your entire life, and that can have devastating results.
When negative thoughts pop up, remember they’re insignificant and irrelevant. Then aim your attention on what you’re doing.
4. Detach from the perceived “importance” of your goal
“True detachment isn’t separation from life but the absolute freedom within your mind to explore living.”
― Ron. W. Rathbun
The importance you place on results, things, or people causes you to attach to them.
When you realize you don’t need anyone or any material item to live a fulfilled life, you free yourself. You unchain your happiness from these things and can finally feel real joy. Then, nothing is the end of the world for you, except death, of course.
If you really want to date someone and they are all you can think about, they’ll feel it. That’ll make them feel uneasy, and they’ll want to escape this awkwardness ASAP. But when you finally say, “Screw it!” then people flock to you. When you’re cool and nonchalant, it piques their interest. It makes you appear confident and mysterious.
If you take a more stoic approach, you’d be happy either way. A stoic person doesn’t allow their emotions to run their lives or to fluctuate too rapidly. They stay at an even keel. You’d feel peace as you worked for it, calm if you didn’t achieve it, and content if you did.
So, it would be a shame to waste your talents because believe your results are crucial to your happiness. You’re afraid of failing only because of the importance you placed on it.
5. Detach from trying to control the world
“The root of suffering is attachment.”
If you try to control outcomes or people, you’ll get stressed out and frustrated. Furthermore, you’ll find out the hard way that you can’t control anything but yourself.
The more you “need” something to happen, the more you’ll suffer. Most occurrences are not in your control. You can improve your chances, but nothing is certain. Therefore it doesn’t make sense to put these outcomes on a pedestal.
The less attached you are to things beyond your control, the freer you become.
I’ll admit this one is a challenge. But we can’t control the outside world. People will do stupid things, regardless of how you feel about it. Also, we can’t control the outcome of our work. Many insanely talented people get rejected several times before they reach success. If you don’t let that bother you, you’ll keep trying till you hit gold.
6. Nothing will be as horrendous as you imagine
“He who would be serene and pure needs but one thing, detachment.”
― Meister Eckhart
The more you worry about a task, the harder it’ll be to start working on it. You’ll practically need to force yourself to do it.
However, if you detach from the intimidation of the task, you won’t hold yourself back from it. This can enable you to do incredible things! Imagine if gargantuan goals didn’t make you nervous. You’d easily start working on them every day like it was nothing.
If enormous ambitions send chills down your spine, you’ll end up watching Netflix for the rest of the day. Your subconscious would tell you it’s okay; you can work on that tomorrow. But it’s never tomorrow.
For instance, if you want to write a book, don’t picture yourself writing an entire novel. Instead, just start working a little every day with no stress. A tiny bit of daily progress will change your life.
7. Detach from old stories
You may have an old negative story about yourself. Perhaps you used to have an alcohol or drug problem? Or you’ve had a trauma-filled past? Either way, these experiences can cling to our souls for a long time.
I used to carry my past with me for years. It was a depressing and stressful way to live.
But these things you endured aren’t who you are now. You’re changing and improving every day. Besides, the past doesn’t exist anymore, so it’s pointless to waste time dwelling on it.
Don’t define yourself with old stories.
You are not your past; you are what you’re doing right now. You’re reading Motivated Progress, and that’s pretty awesome!
All those memories are meaningless compared to who you’re becoming. Furthermore, it’s detrimental to mull them over in your mind.
You’re writing the new story of your life right now, and that’s what matters.
8. Don’t try so hard and let it flow
“Detachment does not mean non-involvement. You can be deeply involved but not entangled.”
― Jaggi Vasudev
When you don’t make your desires a huge deal, they won’t intimidate you. So, shrink its importance. But don’t minimize it so much that you don’t do anything to achieve it.
When you let go of needing a specific outcome, your mind is freed up to be creative and focused. Of course, that’s when you start rocking!
You’re so focused that you slip into the flow before you know it. Flow is the highest performing mental state humans can be in, so your results will shine. Plus, you won’t have that nagging voice always droning on in the background.
Often we are our most significant obstacle in life. Yet, we blame everything else but ourselves.
9. Accept yourself
Now, accept the fact that you are one of the most astonishing creatures in the known universe, a human. A living being so advanced that they can leave the planet and return. You have a potential that expands so far that it’s mind-blowing. Nothing even comes close.
You are a part of this elite group. So, stop denying your brilliance and making things harder than they should be. Accept your infinite abilities and start using them.
In short, detaching from your outcomes frees up your creativity and improves your focus so you can get high-quality results. All while trying less than you used to!
Today is the day you stop restraining yourself, and you let go of trying to control your genius. Find something you enjoy doing and just roll with it. Challenge yourself to get better because it’s fun, not because you expect to be rewarded. So enjoy the process and see where it takes you!
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What will you detach from today?